Solitude

I don't know why, but each Friday morning, when I drive in to the BIG city (Washington DC) I always seem to have reflection time.  This time is what I deem to be time spent talking and listening to God and trying to let Him work through me and guide me in my life (I know, I don't usually 'talk' about this type of stuff because it really is hard to put my spirituality into words).

Yesterday, I was flipping stations on the radio trying to find a traffic update, as it wasn't time for WTOP's traffic on the 8's.  Well, somehow, I landed on a religious station where a pastor was giving a sermon.  Now, I can't recall a time in my life, prior to yesterday, where I actually stopped and listened to a 'radio' sermon (I don't know, but for some reason, I just can't get into them).  For some reason, yesterday I did....and I ended up in tears of joy (no shocker there, huh?...I know I cry at everything)...

Anyhow, the pastor was talking about how loving God is...and how a little selfish God is in that He wants us to have alone time with Him....not praying, not reading your Bible, but just listening to Him and letting Him move in your heart. 

These moments, are what this pastor called solitude. 

Now, I don't know about you, but when I hear the word solitude, I think of people in jail who have been in trouble and are now isolated in a cell on their own.  However, after hearing this sermon, I wanted to see what the actual definition of solitude was...this is what I found on wiki:

Solitude is a state of seclusion or isolation; i.e., lack of contact with people. It may stem from bad relationships, deliberate choice, infectious disease, mental disorders, or circumstances of employment or situation (see castaway).

The definition seems rather dark, doesn't it?  Not something you would want as a daily part of your life, is it?

Now, if you don't know this already, there have been many times in my life where I felt alone....utterly alone.  Isolation in a jail cell would have almost been welcoming as opposed to what I was going through.  However, at a very young age, I learned to let God in my heart...to let Him work his wonders inside of me.  Those alone times quickly became 'not alone' times as God was there...with me, holding me, guiding me, loving me as any wonderful Father would His child.

I remember the first time I read Footprints.  I was in a friend's house and it was on their bathroom wall.  When I read that, it made so much sense to me...like a lightbulb went off that said, "See, God was carrying you...just like you thought He was!"

It was when I heard this sermon yesterday, and heard the new meaning of this word, Solitude, that that same lightbulb went off in my head.  That is what I have done my entire life...it isn't praying, it isn't reading the Bible and processing the words in it as you interpret them...it is allowing God to move through you, by letting Him in your heart, and in a sense listening to His guidance and direction by opening yourself up to His will and seeing the good in everything in your life, even if it doesn't seem 'good' to you at the time.

I now have a new word that I may use quite often...and as negative as it may sound, I look forward to my daily times of solitude.

Happy Saturday!