Where Have I Been?

Ok, this is a quick , very quick, post to say I am still here (if anyone is still out there).

I have been very busy in the last week getting caught back up on life in general...but I have also been very busy helping out our troop leader with some of the stuff Beth used to do for her (which, let me tell you,  was a LOT).

It feels so good to be able to help, but of course, it means having to give up some of my other favorite things.

For now, I feel called to help our troop and Beth's family in whatever way I can.  I will still check in and update about the kids and our life from time to time, but I definitely don't think daily posting is in my near future.

I hope to be able to check a few blogs and comment from time to time, too.  I know, it has been a while since I commented on or visited my favorite blogs, but I hope to start again soon.

Miss you guys,  but, I shall return...eventually!

Love,

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Getting to Know You - 3/28/10

So, last week was the first time I missed GTKY since I started playing along.


I truly love this meme...I love getting to know everyone else and I love to know that people are actually getting to know things about me.  However, with the loss of my best friend last week, it was impossible for me to play along.


Well, there is nothing better than having Ian ask our GTKY questions to get me back in the groove...so, a BIG thanks to Keely and Ian for bringing me back to Bloggy-Life!


Ok, so, if you want to play along, and I suggest that you do, head on over to Keely's blog to play along!

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1 - Why did you start blogging?

To keep in touch with friends and family who live far, far away!!!!  Although, I don't think any of my family actually reads my blog anymore!  ;(

2 - Who's the one blog friend that you would want to meet most in "real life"?

Well, there are a few...since Ian is so close to me, I would say him, but I already have semi-plans to go meet my dear, dear friend Robin in Texas over the summer.  Then, there's SIF, who I really, really would love to meet...she is also a dear, dear friend.
3 - Why are you always concerned with losing that "extra 10 pounds" when chances are your husband/boyfriend/friends tell you that you look just fine the way you are?

I actually just lost 58 pounds and got off Blood Pressure monitoring!!  Woohoo!!!  So, I guess now I am losing it for my overall health.  Not to say, I don't want to feel more attractive like I did when I was 23!

4 - What's the one thing you wish guys could understand about you?

That I have gas, too!  ;)  (for some reason, men don't think women pass gas...I mean, we do have the same digestive tract, you know)

5 - Tattoos. How many do you have and how many are visible when you wear your "everyday" clothes?

I have two tattoos...one on my ankle and the other on my shoulder blade...you can see eithe rof them depending on what I am wearing...but, I can just as easily cover them up!  ;)  By the way, I drew one of my tattoos by myself...the bad thing is, I can't draw!  ;)
6 - What was the best year of your life and why?

Oh, Ian, you asked me this a few weeks ago and I said RIGHT NOW (yes, in caps if you recall)...although, I wish I could go back 8 days ago, to before my friend died, I would still say the time right now...I believe we are called to live in the moment, for this moment is the only one guaranteed to us.

7 - Name three things you would do if you were a man for one day.

Play professional football, be a racecar driver in NASCAR and scratch my bal....

8 - What's your alcoholic drink of choice that usually raises a few eyebrows?

A Virgin Pina Colada (no, I don't drink...ever...I have a horrible tolerance...or lack thereof)

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Happy Sunday Ya'll!!!!!!

Love,

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Every Moment...

First things first...My friend's daughter's surgery went "very well" according to her surgeons.  I am going to go up to see her once she is awake and her dad says I can go with him (he has to be with me to see her).  Praises are definitely in order....but, prayers are definitely still appreciated for both her continued physical and emotional healing.

I have also been by to see the other child, who is now home.  She is doing well, but in a lot of pain.  Please also be prayerful for her continued physical and emotional healing.  I took her some Reece's Pieces and Yoo-Hoo (at her request) and also a cute little handheld chick that chirps when you touch it.  Bless her little heart, she is such a brave girl.

As for me, I had my first attempt at grocery shopping since the accident.  I went to our local Food Lion in town...a place Beth and I frequented regularly...sometimes together intentionally and sometime by coincidence.  I was about half way through the store when it hit me, I won't ever 'run into her' at Food Lion again....of course, I felt myself starting to cry...I felt alone, totally alone in the middle of this grocery store filled with people.  Then, as I turned the corner, there stood my neighbor (who is like my adoptive grandma)...and I just ran up to her and wrapped my arms around her and started bawling.

In that moment, I was so sad, but so joyous.  I believe it was God's way of saying, "You may think you are alone, my child, but I am making sure you are never alone in this journey."  I was humbled...My neighbor just hugged me and started asking me about Beth' daughter.  I quickly composed myself to share the good news of her successful surgery.

Every moment is different..each second has it's highs, and lows.  However, it is impossible to ignore God's Hand through all of this...because, even through all this sadness, I have felt Him here with me every moment!

Love,



P.S. If you are interested, you can read about the vigil we held for Beth here...it is an inspirational read, and something I was so honored to do for both the girls in our troop and our entire community, but especially for Beth.

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My Writing is Horrible!!!

..as in my handwriting. 

I think mine is the worst.  I have always wanted to write like a 'girl.'  I always wanted to have that nice, bubbly, perfect-letters-every-time style of handwriting.  Instead, I have the handwriting skills of about a 7-year-old.

However, I got tagged to do something I find interesting over on my dear friend Robin's blog. The assignment was this:

The rules are simple. 
Answer the following questions but, write them down. Snap a pic and post it!

1. Name/ Blog Name

2. Right handed, left handed or both

3. Favorite letters to write

4. Least favorite letters to write

5. Write: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

6. Write in caps:

CRAB

HUMOR

KALEIDOSCOPE

PAJAMAS

GAZILLION

7. Favorite song lyrics

8. Tag people

9. Any special note or drawing

Here's Mine

So, after I did this, I also took a writing personality test...I have to say, despite the offense I may have taken when I read it, I agree with 'most' of it...here is what is said:

Your Handwriting Says You Are Somewhat Traditional

You are sometimes a very energetic person, but you are sometimes quite lethargic. You're moody, prone to ups and downs, and you don't have a lot of endurance. You are reserved and not very outgoing. You are deeply thoughtful and introspective. You have a lot of control over your actions and emotions. You are extravagant, over the top, and indulgent. You set trends and influence people. You don't need a lot of space, and you prefer to spend time with others. You are a little nosy and intrusive. You sometimes don't give people enough space. You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart. You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous. ***************************************************

Does this sound like me?  I mean, you know, other than the fact that I am not outgoing...I have always felt very outgoing.

Thanks again everyone for all your support, prayers and comments.  Today is going to be hard as we say good bye to a dear friend, but I am certain we will be just fine as I know she is up there watching over us sitting right next to the Bug Guy!!!!

Please still be prayerful for her daughter as she undergoes an 8 hour surgery today.

Love,

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Updates

Two people very special to me sent me this...I have never met them in person, but I feel like they are just as special as if we had know each other all our lives...Thank you friends!!!!  I love you guys and am so happy God put you in my life...I hope we get to create many wonderful memories together in the years ahead.

I heard this morning that the girl who was in the accident with my best friend and her daughter will get to come home today.  I am going to take them dinner tonight.  Praise God!!!

Beth's daughter will have an 8 hour surgery tomorrow, during her mom's funeral.  She is still sedated and hasn't been told yet of her mother's passing.  Please, please be prayerful for this sweet girl and her family.  They need all the prayers and love we can offer them.

Monday we had our vigil for Beth...I prepared the slideshow, made ribbons and even got to speak on our troops behalf about our beloved friend.  I don't know how I did it, it was so hard, but I know I did my best and I was so honored to be able to speak about my friend.

After the vigil, another mom and I were approached by two women from our Girl Scout Council BOD (Board of Directors).  Before Beth died, she had been working on a trip we were taking to the birth place of the GS founder, Juliette Lowe, in Savannah GA...well, we decided, as a troop, to honor Beth, we will still be going to Savannah...well, these two women said they want to help us get there...they are going to request funding from the Council for our trip...Isn't that amazing?  What a blessing!!!

Each day is getting better. Each moment is still different.  There are true blessings during this storm...true friends...true family...life is so truly precious!

My friend had this saying stenciled on her wall in her kitchen:  Live, Laugh, Love!!!!  I am going to choose to live by her motto.  I can't think of a better way to even further honor my friend.

There is much to be done for this family over the span of life, but I am thanking God that he chose me to be here for this amazing family.  I am thanking Him for trusting me with her love, her friendship and her family.  I will do my best to give back to them all the love she gave to me.  I am so grateful to have had someone like her as long as I did....I bet many people go a lifetime without having someone as special as her in their life.

So, Live, Laugh and Love...every day!!!

Love,

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The Day Ahead...

Today will be a busy day, I have been working on a slideshow for my dear friend's vigil tonight at our church.  

In place of our regular meeting, our troop will be hosting this vigil for our girls and our community tonight.

I feel so blessed right now to be working on this slideshow.  Everyone has been sending me pictures and I feel so honored to get to be doing this project.  

Thank you so much for your kind words and support.  I know I haven't been responding to comments, but I haven't really had it in me.  I have been reading everything and I really do appreciate it.

Life is too short sometimes, so please, live each moment to the fullest.  Tell those that you love and care for and appreciate that you feel that way.  Don't let things go unsaid or undone.  I know my friend knew how much I loved her, for that I am so grateful for.

Just a few pictures I found yesterday...from my baby shower.  Beth and my sister, mostly Beth, arranged my last baby shower...it was a football (REDSKINS) theme...she did everything in Burgundy and Gold...her husband even made me a football field to put my gifts on (complete with an end zone and field goal pole)...she was the best friend I could ever ask for...I was so happy on this day..so grateful...I will remember this time and all the other amazing times we shared.

Love,

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Thoughts From a Loving Friend...

Dear Beth,

I remember the first time I met you...almost 5 years ago right after we moved here, to Caroline County, VA...I walked into my first Girl Scouts Meeting and you were there.  You were so together...so attentive to what you were doing...so organized and energized.  However, you quickly approached us and welcomed my daughter and I to the troop.

Shortly thereafter, we worked the Girl Scout booth at the county fair together..Joe and I had had an argument before I got there and I was upset.  I was so upset I began telling you, almost a complete stranger at the time, how I was feeling...I was so alone as I was without a friend in the world to talk to.  You said to me, "I'll be your friend."  From that day forward, you were just that...a friend like I had never had ever before in my life.

I know I told you this all the time...how much I loved you, how much I was grateful God put you in my life, how special you were, how mush I wanted to be like you, how important you were to our girls and our entire community.  I will never be able to put into words how much you have done for so many people...how much you have given yourself to our children, our schools, our troop, my family, ME!  

I know you are with Him (probably organizing his entire assortment of whatever needs to be organized)...I know He is using you as He sees fit...I am not angry with Him..I am so happy He put you in my life, even if it was for a short time.  I am so happy He knows how good you are and that He has welcomed you into His home.  He loves you way more than I ever could...I know why he would want you...I want you, why wouldn't He?

I am going to be here for your family....my entire family wants to be here for your family...they all know how good you were to me and my children and we all want to do whatever we can for your family.  I am going to do whatever I can to help them...you have been here for me when I needed you EVERY single time...when I gave birth, when I had a son in the NICU, when I was in the hospital, when my father had his heart attacks, when I needed a sifter (yes, your sifter is sitting here right in front of me now...I am glad I never gave it back to you, even though I never ended up using it, because it is yours and it's here with me).

I always got so excited when I had a chance to do something for you, even if it was just taking you to Fredericksburg to get your car fixed...I was so glad to be able to help any chance I got (which was rare, it seemed like you never needed help...ever)...I am glad we were so close..I am glad you confided in me...I am glad you loved me back...I am so glad you were a part of my life.

I love you and I will never forget you...I know I will see you again.

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This was our troop, almost 4 years ago, at Tangier Island...That's me, in the middle towards the back in the pink shirt, and that's you standing next to me with the short brown hair and gray t shirt.  So many faces in this picture are missing you...We all love you!  We all miss you!  We all will see you again!!!

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This is you and our girls (I don't know why Jr wasn't in the picture)...I took this picture with your camera (you, of course, had a camera with a charged battery...mine, of course, was completely dead)...we were at the National Zoo...we had a great day last summer (the last weekend before school started).  I am so glad I had this time with you...I am glad I took this picture.  I am so glad I will see you again.  

I Love You!

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I love you and I will see you again!!!

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Please Pray!!!!!

Hi everyone...thanks so much for your prayers and kind words.  I just returned home from the hospital.  

Unfortunately, my best friend didn't make it.  Fortunately, both girls will make it...one girl, her daughter, was in surgery when I left to repair lashes to her face and arms (it is re-constructive).  The other child has a broken hip and won't walk for at least 2 months, but will be able to walk again with many limitations.

Please continue to pray for these families...and mine...I am strong in my faith, but I just want to be calm and comforted enough to be there for these families, and my own, right now.  My daughter took it hard at first, but it seems her faith is as strong as mine...she knows her friends will need her to be strong for them and I am so impressed with how she is acting.  

I might not blog too much in the next week or so...but I promise to check in from time to time.

Thanks again everyone.

While I was writing a comment on the Bloggette of the Week over at SIF's BF forum I got a phone call from our Girl Scout Troop Leader.

She told me my best friend, her daughter who is 11, and another child in our troop who is also 11 were in a very, very bad car accident last night.

It took over 2 hours to cut my friend out of the car and she and her daughter were sent by helicopter.  The other child was thrown from the vehicle and has a broken hip, but it conscious and going into surgery.  The kids seem to be critical, but stable.  My friend, however, is not at this moment and is in surgery trying to get her stable.

Please pray for these families...and our family...my daughter was with them at a booth sale just a few hours before the accident at an evening booth sale and is also a bit upset for our friends.

I am on my way to the hospital, but will update this post later with more details.

Thanks!

Lord, please be with my dear friends and their families. Please comfort them, and be there for them and give them strength during this time.  For in my most difficult times I turn to you for strength, guidance, comfort and love.  I know you are with them now just as you have always been.  Please give me the strength and guidance to be there for my friends whatever the outcome may be.  

Our Father,

who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

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Achievements!

Achievements are such wonderful things, aren't they?

I mean, after my "Debbie Downer" post this morning, I worked, got showered and dressed, got Joe Jr. up from his nap, got him dressed and proceeded to drive to our doctor's appointments.

Now, in case you don't know, my son was born about 16 1/2 months ago in Prince William Co, VA (about an hour and a half north of us)...I chose to have him there as I wanted him to be delivered by my OBGyn of 15 years...and she only delivers there.  

When Jr was born, he was put in the NICU for a number of things...fluid on his lungs, jaundice, lots of bruising, a broken collar bone and eating issues...however, before he was born, there were no indications anything would be wrong, and there wasn't...until he was born.  Let's just say, he got pretty roughed up coming out. 

After about 5 days of him being in the NICU, I began having a really hard time breathing.  Yes, I had just given birth...yes, I was overweight...but, I had been those things twice before and had never felt anything like this.  While my son was in the NICU, over an hour away, I went to the emergency room closer to home, actually in between our home and where he was.  

My head felt like it was going to explode....I still couldn't breathe...they thought I had a pulmonary embolism.  However, nope, what I had was blood pressure (BP) readings around 216/110..so, while my son was in the NICU at one hospital, I was admitted on day 5...to a different hospital...in a different town...away from my newborn.  

That, was hard!  Especially since he was discharged 3 hours before I was...I was an hour away from not being able to pick my baby boy up and take him home from the NICU.

Well, flash forward to today....we both had joint doctors visits.

My boy is perfectly healthy.  He is 99% for height and 95% for weight.  He is perfectly on track developmentally as well!

...and ME...well, let's just say, I have lost a total of 58 pounds since he was born (4 pounds since my last visit) and my BP is down to a nice 114/80...without meds...oh, and I am officially off of BP monitoring, too.

Aren't achievements great?  

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Shame

I couldn't decide between making this a serious post and a sarcastic one...so, I decided to do a little of both.

The theme of this post is about shame...

shame  (shm)

n.

1.

a. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.

b. Capacity for such a feeling: Have you no shame?

2. One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.

3. A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy.

4. A great disappointment.

Now, below I am going to list things I have recently been shameful for...

• My new indulgence in Facebook...or rather Farmville since that's all I really do while on Facebook.  Yes, since I created my account last weekend, I now have chickens, cows, horses, goats, sheep, pigs and even cats...not to mention I just bought two tractors this morning. 
• My negligence to clip Eva toenails for God knows how long....they were pretty darn long...about an 1/8th of an inch!!!  She does have GREAT nails though.
• My kitchen floor...it is a little sticky.  The other day, Jr figured out how to turn juice boxes upside down to make the juice flow out...now, he is intrigued with Capri Sun water falls.
• Vic's recent treatment of her sister...she pulled Eva off of our stone fireplace and made her hit her head on the floor...then, to make Eva feel better, we let her sleep with us last night.  Joe was apparently watching CSI (on FX) when he went to sleep and left the tv on...only for me to wake up in the middle of the night to see a "Girls Gone Wild" commercial on...yes, while Eva was in our bed, fortunately asleep!  (I swear if anyone from BF is reading this, you know this was your fault!)...
• My recent behavior on the BF forum...I lashed out when someone 'said' something I took too personally. I know better than that...I was wrong...I was  a disgrace to myself, even though others might not agree...and I lost all control.  I didn't curse, but I certainly threw a few stones back at people....something I try my hardest not to do.

All this to say, I still can't get over Locke's, aka Smoky's, comment to Kate on this last episode of LOST:

"Well, Kate, none of us are perfect!"

Ain't that the truth!!!

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LOSTapalooza - 3/17/10

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everyone!  

Indeed, I do have a bit of Irish in me, just enough to celebrate, but not enough to have any real 'luck.'


However, I do feel like the luckiest girl alive after last night's new episode of LOST.  I mean, wasn't it just awesome?  And, you know what time it is...Time for LOSTapalooza!  Our time to sit back reflect and try to guess what is going on.  This fun fest is hosted by Robin...head on over to her place to join in on the fun!!!


Oh, and one final thing before I move on to my post, I just have to quote my favorite LOST line of all time, and it is from last night's episode:  "Well, Kate, no one's perfect."  I mean, you can't get better than that, can you?

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Sawyer...Sawyer....I don't know what to think...I mean, you're a cop?!?!?!?  I won't go into too much on this, but aren't detectives con mans in their own way?  So, I mean, even though he is a cop, he is still a con man!  Some things never change....but, I was a little shocked and really didn't see it coming.


I am sorry, but Smokey aka Locke is manipulative (Robin, we will have to agree to disagree on this one)...and, did you see him slap the sh*t out of Claire?  Really, it is his fault she is crazy...he is the one who manipulated her to begin with...I know, yes, he admitted that, but still, he hit her pretty darn hard!


Kate, I still <3 you!  You still rock!!!


Oh, and so I know we are a little confused about who the 6 candidates are...well, I think one of them may be Ben Linus or Charles Whidmore...so, it's Sawyer, Sayid, Kwon (sun or Jin or both), Hurley, Jack and either Ben or Charles...unless, Locke, as Smokey, is still one of them...but, I don't think so.


Oh, and my last note before I get into the questions...I really think, in the flash sideways, they KNOW!!!  Yes, I think they know what is going on...I think when they left the island, they got flashed to the different universe back to the time of 815...however, I think there is some or all of the residual memory from the last 3 years...I don't think they are ignorant to what is going on...Basically, they get off the island, they know they will be in a different world, and they remember each other, but are aware the world, and that their roles in it, have changed.


I guess we'll have to wait and see, won't we?


Ok, here are this weeks questions:


1. We've talked about our favorite characters. Were there any characters ever that you really didn't like? 


I never liked John Locke's father...he, from the first time we saw him, rubbed me the wrong way....he was like, the meanest character in the history of LOST...I mean, I like Smokey better than him.

2. Who's your favorite couple from any season?


Oh, by far it is Rose and Bernard...and no, not because they are an interracial couple, but because of the love they have for each other...I really think they will play a bigger role in all of this...at least I hope they do.  

3. Which candidate would you like to see become the "new Jacob"?


Um, duh, I wish it could be Kate, but since it can't be, I will have to say Jack...I guess...I mean, I am kind of going with my gut here...I don't think there will be a new Jacob...I think the island is going to end up under water...like we saw at the beginning of this episode.


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And, there you have it folks!  Head on over to Robin's Blog to grab the questions and link up!


Happy Wednesday!

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For Me?...Aw, You're Too Sweet!

So, this is kind of an update and then a dual thanks!


My van is in the shop...I spent most of yesterday running around trying to get it dropped off, and then back home again...$1200 worth of repairs and it should be ready for pick up later today.  I will say, even the mechanic was impressed that I have 200K miles on my van and almost ALL original parts still on it....not too bad, is it?  I must say, I definitely got my $$'s worth out of my 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan...and she's still tickin'!


On to the true meaning of this post...  


I kind of stole an award and promised to accept it from Taiya's Blog (well, she was telling people to take it, so is that really stealing?)...then, Sam, almost a week later, gave me this award (no, I didn't steal this one...she gave it to me).


Thanks Ladies...I think both of you ROCK!!!!  

The rules for accepting this award are:

- List 10 things that make your day (check!)

- Nominate other blogs worthy of this award (check!)

1. I love waking up in the morning, getting the girls up and laying in the bed with Jr while he has a bottle...that is about the only time of the day that he is so loving.
2. I love the smell and taste of coffee in the morning (well, I like the taste as long as it has cream and sugar added)
3. I love my new N-IRL (Not In Real Life) friends.
4. I love rainy days.
5. I love the sounds of birds chirping.
6. I love Tuesdays (yes today) because a new episode of LOST is coming on.
7. I love that I have a wonderful family that I know is here for me any day I need them to be, and I enjoy being able to be there for them, too.
8. I love my job and that I can work from home.
9. I love right now!  Today!  This moment!  For in this moment, I exist!
10. I love God...for through Him all these blessings are possible in my life!

And, without further adieu, here are some fellow bloggers, and friends, I would like to give this award to:

• Robin @ Lolidots
• Ian @ The Daily Dose of Reality
• Elizabeth @ King J's Queen
• Nikki @ Life as we know it
• Shannon @ I make all this up 
• SIF @ SIF 
• Laura @ Blogging from Bolivia

And, I would also like any of my readers to grab this button yourself if you don't already have it!  

Take it, put it on your blog and return the love to your favorite bloggers...

Happy LOST-day Everyone!

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Getting to Know You - 3/14/10

It's Sunday!  That means it's time for another round of Getting to Know You!

Head on over to Keely's blog, play along and even enter her giveaway while your there (today's the last day to enter).

On with the show...

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1. What's your favorite Easter candy?

Hands down...Reece's PB Cup Eggs!

2. Who do you think is cleaner..men or women?

Interesting question!  

Well, if you mean hygiene 'clean' considering most women I know shower daily...and most men I know shower more like every 3 days, I would say WOMEN!   

But, as for household cleaning, it would so depend...Joe is so anal when he cleans, but he rarely does it.  I am probably more relaxed about it, but I do it more often.

3. Which do you prefer..wordy blog posts or ones with pictures?

Well, I love pictures, but if a wordy post has a good theme, then a wordy one!

4. Were you popular in high school?

Popular?  Well if I was, it was because I was probably the only straight A student in our class to EVER get 5 days of suspension for fighting...but, it WAS self defense...so I got to do all my classwork...and still had straight A's!

5. What's your bra size?

38C..now anyways...

6. How many states have you lived in?

3 - Virginia (for 27 years of my life from birth until now), Pennsylvania (for about 6 months when I was 8) and Texas (for about 1 1/2 years when I was 9-10)

7. What's one blog you read every day?

Gosh, so many, but I always read Ian's Blog...he is like, the best!...and he knows it!  ;)

8. Peanut butter or Nutella?

Honestly, I have NEVER tried Nutella...but, it always looks soooo goood.  So, I guess by default, I will say the good old fashioned crunchy peanut butter!  ;)

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Ok, head on over to Keely's Blog to play along, and to enter her giveaway!

Happy Sunday Everyone!

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Solitude

I don't know why, but each Friday morning, when I drive in to the BIG city (Washington DC) I always seem to have reflection time.  This time is what I deem to be time spent talking and listening to God and trying to let Him work through me and guide me in my life (I know, I don't usually 'talk' about this type of stuff because it really is hard to put my spirituality into words).

Yesterday, I was flipping stations on the radio trying to find a traffic update, as it wasn't time for WTOP's traffic on the 8's.  Well, somehow, I landed on a religious station where a pastor was giving a sermon.  Now, I can't recall a time in my life, prior to yesterday, where I actually stopped and listened to a 'radio' sermon (I don't know, but for some reason, I just can't get into them).  For some reason, yesterday I did....and I ended up in tears of joy (no shocker there, huh?...I know I cry at everything)...

Anyhow, the pastor was talking about how loving God is...and how a little selfish God is in that He wants us to have alone time with Him....not praying, not reading your Bible, but just listening to Him and letting Him move in your heart. 

These moments, are what this pastor called solitude. 

Now, I don't know about you, but when I hear the word solitude, I think of people in jail who have been in trouble and are now isolated in a cell on their own.  However, after hearing this sermon, I wanted to see what the actual definition of solitude was...this is what I found on wiki:

Solitude is a state of seclusion or isolation; i.e., lack of contact with people. It may stem from bad relationships, deliberate choice, infectious disease, mental disorders, or circumstances of employment or situation (see castaway).

The definition seems rather dark, doesn't it?  Not something you would want as a daily part of your life, is it?

Now, if you don't know this already, there have been many times in my life where I felt alone....utterly alone.  Isolation in a jail cell would have almost been welcoming as opposed to what I was going through.  However, at a very young age, I learned to let God in my heart...to let Him work his wonders inside of me.  Those alone times quickly became 'not alone' times as God was there...with me, holding me, guiding me, loving me as any wonderful Father would His child.

I remember the first time I read Footprints.  I was in a friend's house and it was on their bathroom wall.  When I read that, it made so much sense to me...like a lightbulb went off that said, "See, God was carrying you...just like you thought He was!"

It was when I heard this sermon yesterday, and heard the new meaning of this word, Solitude, that that same lightbulb went off in my head.  That is what I have done my entire life...it isn't praying, it isn't reading the Bible and processing the words in it as you interpret them...it is allowing God to move through you, by letting Him in your heart, and in a sense listening to His guidance and direction by opening yourself up to His will and seeing the good in everything in your life, even if it doesn't seem 'good' to you at the time.

I now have a new word that I may use quite often...and as negative as it may sound, I look forward to my daily times of solitude.

Happy Saturday!

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In Case You Missed It...

Yup, today is Friday, which means I just got home from a looong (but wonderful) day away at the office. 

Since I didn't get around to doing a post today, I figured I would be a slacker and just post the same post I wrote for my guest spot on Ian's Blog yesterday...you know, just in case you missed it.

So, here is my guest post...

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The Story Behind a True Fan

I am sure most of you have birth stories of your own you like to tell…most of which are probably stories of how your own children were born.

Me, I like to tell me own birth story (narcissistic any?)…it is a story that contains deep ties to a life long commitment of trust, loyalty, and undying love.

Here it is…in a very big nutshell…

It was September 1979…my mother was 2 weeks over due with her second child, me.

Miserable, hugely overweight, swollen, and, more than likely in her worst mood ever, my mother decided, being the avid ‘Skins fan she is, to spend her Sunday afternoon watching the Redskins first season game versus the Houston Oilers.

Obviously, I don’t recall exactly how the game went (after all, I wasn’t even born yet), but I know the Redskins were leading by a point or two in the last few minutes of the game….apparently, Houston scored a last minute field goal to take the lead.

In that moment, my mother jumped up out of anger and disappointment. When she hit the ground on her way back down her water broke…I was born the next day, following the Redskins first loss of the season.

Now, without going into too much detail, let’s just say my mother isn’t the ‘most pleasant person’ to be around…So, along with a lifetime of traditions, there is one thing Redskin’s losses have done for me…I credit this particular ‘Skins loss with getting me ‘the hell up out my mamma!” So, I don’t mind them losing…consistently…or, that they haven’t led their division since my first child was born, in 1999. That’s all OK…and I still consider myself a true fan.

With that, you have the realest, most genuine reasoning behind being a true, die hard Redskins fan…win or lose (preferably lose)!

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Well, hope you enjoyed it...if you hadn't already!

Until tomorrow...for now, to bed!  ;)

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