Where Have I Been?

Ok, this is a quick , very quick, post to say I am still here (if anyone is still out there).

I have been very busy in the last week getting caught back up on life in general...but I have also been very busy helping out our troop leader with some of the stuff Beth used to do for her (which, let me tell you,  was a LOT).

It feels so good to be able to help, but of course, it means having to give up some of my other favorite things.

For now, I feel called to help our troop and Beth's family in whatever way I can.  I will still check in and update about the kids and our life from time to time, but I definitely don't think daily posting is in my near future.

I hope to be able to check a few blogs and comment from time to time, too.  I know, it has been a while since I commented on or visited my favorite blogs, but I hope to start again soon.

Miss you guys,  but, I shall return...eventually!

Love,

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Getting to Know You - 3/28/10

So, last week was the first time I missed GTKY since I started playing along.


I truly love this meme...I love getting to know everyone else and I love to know that people are actually getting to know things about me.  However, with the loss of my best friend last week, it was impossible for me to play along.


Well, there is nothing better than having Ian ask our GTKY questions to get me back in the groove...so, a BIG thanks to Keely and Ian for bringing me back to Bloggy-Life!


Ok, so, if you want to play along, and I suggest that you do, head on over to Keely's blog to play along!

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1 - Why did you start blogging?

To keep in touch with friends and family who live far, far away!!!!  Although, I don't think any of my family actually reads my blog anymore!  ;(

2 - Who's the one blog friend that you would want to meet most in "real life"?

Well, there are a few...since Ian is so close to me, I would say him, but I already have semi-plans to go meet my dear, dear friend Robin in Texas over the summer.  Then, there's SIF, who I really, really would love to meet...she is also a dear, dear friend.
3 - Why are you always concerned with losing that "extra 10 pounds" when chances are your husband/boyfriend/friends tell you that you look just fine the way you are?

I actually just lost 58 pounds and got off Blood Pressure monitoring!!  Woohoo!!!  So, I guess now I am losing it for my overall health.  Not to say, I don't want to feel more attractive like I did when I was 23!

4 - What's the one thing you wish guys could understand about you?

That I have gas, too!  ;)  (for some reason, men don't think women pass gas...I mean, we do have the same digestive tract, you know)

5 - Tattoos. How many do you have and how many are visible when you wear your "everyday" clothes?

I have two tattoos...one on my ankle and the other on my shoulder blade...you can see eithe rof them depending on what I am wearing...but, I can just as easily cover them up!  ;)  By the way, I drew one of my tattoos by myself...the bad thing is, I can't draw!  ;)
6 - What was the best year of your life and why?

Oh, Ian, you asked me this a few weeks ago and I said RIGHT NOW (yes, in caps if you recall)...although, I wish I could go back 8 days ago, to before my friend died, I would still say the time right now...I believe we are called to live in the moment, for this moment is the only one guaranteed to us.

7 - Name three things you would do if you were a man for one day.

Play professional football, be a racecar driver in NASCAR and scratch my bal....

8 - What's your alcoholic drink of choice that usually raises a few eyebrows?

A Virgin Pina Colada (no, I don't drink...ever...I have a horrible tolerance...or lack thereof)

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Happy Sunday Ya'll!!!!!!

Love,

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Every Moment...

First things first...My friend's daughter's surgery went "very well" according to her surgeons.  I am going to go up to see her once she is awake and her dad says I can go with him (he has to be with me to see her).  Praises are definitely in order....but, prayers are definitely still appreciated for both her continued physical and emotional healing.

I have also been by to see the other child, who is now home.  She is doing well, but in a lot of pain.  Please also be prayerful for her continued physical and emotional healing.  I took her some Reece's Pieces and Yoo-Hoo (at her request) and also a cute little handheld chick that chirps when you touch it.  Bless her little heart, she is such a brave girl.

As for me, I had my first attempt at grocery shopping since the accident.  I went to our local Food Lion in town...a place Beth and I frequented regularly...sometimes together intentionally and sometime by coincidence.  I was about half way through the store when it hit me, I won't ever 'run into her' at Food Lion again....of course, I felt myself starting to cry...I felt alone, totally alone in the middle of this grocery store filled with people.  Then, as I turned the corner, there stood my neighbor (who is like my adoptive grandma)...and I just ran up to her and wrapped my arms around her and started bawling.

In that moment, I was so sad, but so joyous.  I believe it was God's way of saying, "You may think you are alone, my child, but I am making sure you are never alone in this journey."  I was humbled...My neighbor just hugged me and started asking me about Beth' daughter.  I quickly composed myself to share the good news of her successful surgery.

Every moment is different..each second has it's highs, and lows.  However, it is impossible to ignore God's Hand through all of this...because, even through all this sadness, I have felt Him here with me every moment!

Love,



P.S. If you are interested, you can read about the vigil we held for Beth here...it is an inspirational read, and something I was so honored to do for both the girls in our troop and our entire community, but especially for Beth.

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My Writing is Horrible!!!

..as in my handwriting. 

I think mine is the worst.  I have always wanted to write like a 'girl.'  I always wanted to have that nice, bubbly, perfect-letters-every-time style of handwriting.  Instead, I have the handwriting skills of about a 7-year-old.

However, I got tagged to do something I find interesting over on my dear friend Robin's blog. The assignment was this:

The rules are simple. 
Answer the following questions but, write them down. Snap a pic and post it!

1. Name/ Blog Name

2. Right handed, left handed or both

3. Favorite letters to write

4. Least favorite letters to write

5. Write: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

6. Write in caps:

CRAB

HUMOR

KALEIDOSCOPE

PAJAMAS

GAZILLION

7. Favorite song lyrics

8. Tag people

9. Any special note or drawing

Here's Mine

So, after I did this, I also took a writing personality test...I have to say, despite the offense I may have taken when I read it, I agree with 'most' of it...here is what is said:

Your Handwriting Says You Are Somewhat Traditional

You are sometimes a very energetic person, but you are sometimes quite lethargic. You're moody, prone to ups and downs, and you don't have a lot of endurance. You are reserved and not very outgoing. You are deeply thoughtful and introspective. You have a lot of control over your actions and emotions. You are extravagant, over the top, and indulgent. You set trends and influence people. You don't need a lot of space, and you prefer to spend time with others. You are a little nosy and intrusive. You sometimes don't give people enough space. You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart. You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous. ***************************************************

Does this sound like me?  I mean, you know, other than the fact that I am not outgoing...I have always felt very outgoing.

Thanks again everyone for all your support, prayers and comments.  Today is going to be hard as we say good bye to a dear friend, but I am certain we will be just fine as I know she is up there watching over us sitting right next to the Bug Guy!!!!

Please still be prayerful for her daughter as she undergoes an 8 hour surgery today.

Love,

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Updates

Two people very special to me sent me this...I have never met them in person, but I feel like they are just as special as if we had know each other all our lives...Thank you friends!!!!  I love you guys and am so happy God put you in my life...I hope we get to create many wonderful memories together in the years ahead.

I heard this morning that the girl who was in the accident with my best friend and her daughter will get to come home today.  I am going to take them dinner tonight.  Praise God!!!

Beth's daughter will have an 8 hour surgery tomorrow, during her mom's funeral.  She is still sedated and hasn't been told yet of her mother's passing.  Please, please be prayerful for this sweet girl and her family.  They need all the prayers and love we can offer them.

Monday we had our vigil for Beth...I prepared the slideshow, made ribbons and even got to speak on our troops behalf about our beloved friend.  I don't know how I did it, it was so hard, but I know I did my best and I was so honored to be able to speak about my friend.

After the vigil, another mom and I were approached by two women from our Girl Scout Council BOD (Board of Directors).  Before Beth died, she had been working on a trip we were taking to the birth place of the GS founder, Juliette Lowe, in Savannah GA...well, we decided, as a troop, to honor Beth, we will still be going to Savannah...well, these two women said they want to help us get there...they are going to request funding from the Council for our trip...Isn't that amazing?  What a blessing!!!

Each day is getting better. Each moment is still different.  There are true blessings during this storm...true friends...true family...life is so truly precious!

My friend had this saying stenciled on her wall in her kitchen:  Live, Laugh, Love!!!!  I am going to choose to live by her motto.  I can't think of a better way to even further honor my friend.

There is much to be done for this family over the span of life, but I am thanking God that he chose me to be here for this amazing family.  I am thanking Him for trusting me with her love, her friendship and her family.  I will do my best to give back to them all the love she gave to me.  I am so grateful to have had someone like her as long as I did....I bet many people go a lifetime without having someone as special as her in their life.

So, Live, Laugh and Love...every day!!!

Love,

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The Day Ahead...

Today will be a busy day, I have been working on a slideshow for my dear friend's vigil tonight at our church.  

In place of our regular meeting, our troop will be hosting this vigil for our girls and our community tonight.

I feel so blessed right now to be working on this slideshow.  Everyone has been sending me pictures and I feel so honored to get to be doing this project.  

Thank you so much for your kind words and support.  I know I haven't been responding to comments, but I haven't really had it in me.  I have been reading everything and I really do appreciate it.

Life is too short sometimes, so please, live each moment to the fullest.  Tell those that you love and care for and appreciate that you feel that way.  Don't let things go unsaid or undone.  I know my friend knew how much I loved her, for that I am so grateful for.

Just a few pictures I found yesterday...from my baby shower.  Beth and my sister, mostly Beth, arranged my last baby shower...it was a football (REDSKINS) theme...she did everything in Burgundy and Gold...her husband even made me a football field to put my gifts on (complete with an end zone and field goal pole)...she was the best friend I could ever ask for...I was so happy on this day..so grateful...I will remember this time and all the other amazing times we shared.

Love,

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Thoughts From a Loving Friend...

Dear Beth,

I remember the first time I met you...almost 5 years ago right after we moved here, to Caroline County, VA...I walked into my first Girl Scouts Meeting and you were there.  You were so together...so attentive to what you were doing...so organized and energized.  However, you quickly approached us and welcomed my daughter and I to the troop.

Shortly thereafter, we worked the Girl Scout booth at the county fair together..Joe and I had had an argument before I got there and I was upset.  I was so upset I began telling you, almost a complete stranger at the time, how I was feeling...I was so alone as I was without a friend in the world to talk to.  You said to me, "I'll be your friend."  From that day forward, you were just that...a friend like I had never had ever before in my life.

I know I told you this all the time...how much I loved you, how much I was grateful God put you in my life, how special you were, how mush I wanted to be like you, how important you were to our girls and our entire community.  I will never be able to put into words how much you have done for so many people...how much you have given yourself to our children, our schools, our troop, my family, ME!  

I know you are with Him (probably organizing his entire assortment of whatever needs to be organized)...I know He is using you as He sees fit...I am not angry with Him..I am so happy He put you in my life, even if it was for a short time.  I am so happy He knows how good you are and that He has welcomed you into His home.  He loves you way more than I ever could...I know why he would want you...I want you, why wouldn't He?

I am going to be here for your family....my entire family wants to be here for your family...they all know how good you were to me and my children and we all want to do whatever we can for your family.  I am going to do whatever I can to help them...you have been here for me when I needed you EVERY single time...when I gave birth, when I had a son in the NICU, when I was in the hospital, when my father had his heart attacks, when I needed a sifter (yes, your sifter is sitting here right in front of me now...I am glad I never gave it back to you, even though I never ended up using it, because it is yours and it's here with me).

I always got so excited when I had a chance to do something for you, even if it was just taking you to Fredericksburg to get your car fixed...I was so glad to be able to help any chance I got (which was rare, it seemed like you never needed help...ever)...I am glad we were so close..I am glad you confided in me...I am glad you loved me back...I am so glad you were a part of my life.

I love you and I will never forget you...I know I will see you again.

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This was our troop, almost 4 years ago, at Tangier Island...That's me, in the middle towards the back in the pink shirt, and that's you standing next to me with the short brown hair and gray t shirt.  So many faces in this picture are missing you...We all love you!  We all miss you!  We all will see you again!!!

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This is you and our girls (I don't know why Jr wasn't in the picture)...I took this picture with your camera (you, of course, had a camera with a charged battery...mine, of course, was completely dead)...we were at the National Zoo...we had a great day last summer (the last weekend before school started).  I am so glad I had this time with you...I am glad I took this picture.  I am so glad I will see you again.  

I Love You!

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I love you and I will see you again!!!

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Please Pray!!!!!

Hi everyone...thanks so much for your prayers and kind words.  I just returned home from the hospital.  

Unfortunately, my best friend didn't make it.  Fortunately, both girls will make it...one girl, her daughter, was in surgery when I left to repair lashes to her face and arms (it is re-constructive).  The other child has a broken hip and won't walk for at least 2 months, but will be able to walk again with many limitations.

Please continue to pray for these families...and mine...I am strong in my faith, but I just want to be calm and comforted enough to be there for these families, and my own, right now.  My daughter took it hard at first, but it seems her faith is as strong as mine...she knows her friends will need her to be strong for them and I am so impressed with how she is acting.  

I might not blog too much in the next week or so...but I promise to check in from time to time.

Thanks again everyone.

While I was writing a comment on the Bloggette of the Week over at SIF's BF forum I got a phone call from our Girl Scout Troop Leader.

She told me my best friend, her daughter who is 11, and another child in our troop who is also 11 were in a very, very bad car accident last night.

It took over 2 hours to cut my friend out of the car and she and her daughter were sent by helicopter.  The other child was thrown from the vehicle and has a broken hip, but it conscious and going into surgery.  The kids seem to be critical, but stable.  My friend, however, is not at this moment and is in surgery trying to get her stable.

Please pray for these families...and our family...my daughter was with them at a booth sale just a few hours before the accident at an evening booth sale and is also a bit upset for our friends.

I am on my way to the hospital, but will update this post later with more details.

Thanks!

Lord, please be with my dear friends and their families. Please comfort them, and be there for them and give them strength during this time.  For in my most difficult times I turn to you for strength, guidance, comfort and love.  I know you are with them now just as you have always been.  Please give me the strength and guidance to be there for my friends whatever the outcome may be.  

Our Father,

who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

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Achievements!

Achievements are such wonderful things, aren't they?

I mean, after my "Debbie Downer" post this morning, I worked, got showered and dressed, got Joe Jr. up from his nap, got him dressed and proceeded to drive to our doctor's appointments.

Now, in case you don't know, my son was born about 16 1/2 months ago in Prince William Co, VA (about an hour and a half north of us)...I chose to have him there as I wanted him to be delivered by my OBGyn of 15 years...and she only delivers there.  

When Jr was born, he was put in the NICU for a number of things...fluid on his lungs, jaundice, lots of bruising, a broken collar bone and eating issues...however, before he was born, there were no indications anything would be wrong, and there wasn't...until he was born.  Let's just say, he got pretty roughed up coming out. 

After about 5 days of him being in the NICU, I began having a really hard time breathing.  Yes, I had just given birth...yes, I was overweight...but, I had been those things twice before and had never felt anything like this.  While my son was in the NICU, over an hour away, I went to the emergency room closer to home, actually in between our home and where he was.  

My head felt like it was going to explode....I still couldn't breathe...they thought I had a pulmonary embolism.  However, nope, what I had was blood pressure (BP) readings around 216/110..so, while my son was in the NICU at one hospital, I was admitted on day 5...to a different hospital...in a different town...away from my newborn.  

That, was hard!  Especially since he was discharged 3 hours before I was...I was an hour away from not being able to pick my baby boy up and take him home from the NICU.

Well, flash forward to today....we both had joint doctors visits.

My boy is perfectly healthy.  He is 99% for height and 95% for weight.  He is perfectly on track developmentally as well!

...and ME...well, let's just say, I have lost a total of 58 pounds since he was born (4 pounds since my last visit) and my BP is down to a nice 114/80...without meds...oh, and I am officially off of BP monitoring, too.

Aren't achievements great?  

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Shame

I couldn't decide between making this a serious post and a sarcastic one...so, I decided to do a little of both.

The theme of this post is about shame...

shame  (shm)

n.

1.

a. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.

b. Capacity for such a feeling: Have you no shame?

2. One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.

3. A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy.

4. A great disappointment.

Now, below I am going to list things I have recently been shameful for...

• My new indulgence in Facebook...or rather Farmville since that's all I really do while on Facebook.  Yes, since I created my account last weekend, I now have chickens, cows, horses, goats, sheep, pigs and even cats...not to mention I just bought two tractors this morning. 
• My negligence to clip Eva toenails for God knows how long....they were pretty darn long...about an 1/8th of an inch!!!  She does have GREAT nails though.
• My kitchen floor...it is a little sticky.  The other day, Jr figured out how to turn juice boxes upside down to make the juice flow out...now, he is intrigued with Capri Sun water falls.
• Vic's recent treatment of her sister...she pulled Eva off of our stone fireplace and made her hit her head on the floor...then, to make Eva feel better, we let her sleep with us last night.  Joe was apparently watching CSI (on FX) when he went to sleep and left the tv on...only for me to wake up in the middle of the night to see a "Girls Gone Wild" commercial on...yes, while Eva was in our bed, fortunately asleep!  (I swear if anyone from BF is reading this, you know this was your fault!)...
• My recent behavior on the BF forum...I lashed out when someone 'said' something I took too personally. I know better than that...I was wrong...I was  a disgrace to myself, even though others might not agree...and I lost all control.  I didn't curse, but I certainly threw a few stones back at people....something I try my hardest not to do.

All this to say, I still can't get over Locke's, aka Smoky's, comment to Kate on this last episode of LOST:

"Well, Kate, none of us are perfect!"

Ain't that the truth!!!

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