Monday, November 30, 2009

This Is REAL!

So, it isn't that I haven't been totally cognitive these last few days...I know my father, my only parent, will have a major surgery tomorrow that will hopefully heal his heart. I have received so many warm comments, prayers, support, and kindness from friends, family, even strangers in in Blog-Land. But, tonight, it really hit me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just got off the phone with my dad. I told him I loved him and that I would be there tomorrow when he wakes up from surgery (I wasn't sure if I would be able to as I am almost 2 hours away from the hospital and with 2 school age children, it would be hard to get there without help, which I have now)...As we were saying goodbye, it hit me...THIS IS REAL! This could be the last time I said "I love you, Daddy" or "I'll see you later" or "Goodnight." This could be it!!!!

Then, I bet you can guess what happened next...My voice started shaking, my eyes started tearing up and then WHAM! Full blown, balling my eyes out like a BABY (or more like when I was a child and my weekend visit with my Dad was coming to an end)...This could be the last time I EVER heard my Dad say, "I love you, kid."

And, as I am trying my hardest to stop, as to not upset my Dad, he was SO CALM! So, at PEACE! Like, even if he didn't make it, he knew the Lord would be there, for us all! His trust in God and his doctors is incredible and it is just another reason, to this day, I want to be more like my father.

Dad, I will see you tomorrow when you wake up!
I love you!


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