I'm Getting Caught Up...

...sort of!

I mean, I am doing better today than I was this time last week.

We did have a great time at our Girl Scout's Father/Daughter Dance (yes, Bub and I went along to 'help' at the dance).  Really, it was a great evening.  I still need to weed through the gazillion pictures I took, but I hope to post some this week (you know, if time permits).

On another note, the baby woke up with a fever this morning (101.5 aux)...which is his first fever in about 8 months.  He used to get them all the time when he was a baby (when he cut a tooth, when he got shots, when he had a cold), but he has gone a while without one.  I think he has a small cold now, as he has a slight runny nose and has been sneezing.  It has broke for now, but I will be taking him in if it comes back again in the next 24 hours.

And, one last thing...I read this today in a daily prayer I get every morning (it was ironic, because the pastor who sends out these prayers actually mentioned not knowing why this particular quote had come to mind this morning...I could only think how he always seems to say things that touch me deeply at times when I need to hear them the most, and I thought, "perhaps he is writing them just for me"...and I am glad I get a daily dose of prayer in the morning)...here it is:

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Source Unknown

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I just...Can't do it!!!!

So, I wanted to do a nice post for my 100th post.  Something reflecting the many memories and treasures I have gathered over the years.  I wanted to showcase some of my most valued possessions...not for their monetary values (because, let's face it, I am the farthest from materialistic as one can come), but because of the sentiment values associated with them.  One day, I hope to be able to do this...maybe for my 200th post, but right now, I just can't do it.

I don't have time...I don't have energy...I don't have the mindset to do it right now.  My work inbox is overflowing (and, if you know me, that is not the norm), my accounting work is about a month behind schedule (because I wasn't yet caught back up from missing work from my Dad's heart attacks/hospitalizations and winter blizzards before the tragedy with Beth hit)...I am behind on paying bills, not because I don't have the money to pay them, but because I can't find the paper with all my password for online bill payment written on it)...I am behind on PTA duties (I told the PTA president I loved her the other day because she had cancelled out monthly meeting, which I thought I was going to once again be forced to miss)...I just scheduled an appointment to speak to a counselor (I am not quite sure how to put this, but I am just not sure what to say or do anymore when it comes to my dear friend's family...am I saying the right thing, am I not saying the right thing...am I being to overbearing?...am I not there enough?)...It is just so much to process right now.  All of it!

Anyhow, If you have read this far, I am sure you are now as confused and tired as I am.  Which is why I haven't been writing too much recently (I figured I would spare you the agony or reading my innermost thoughts)...I think this is all finally catching up with me.

Well, back to the grind.  I did get our bed made today, for probably the first time in a week.

I will coin a term from one of my most favorite movies, "Baby steps, Sam, baby steps."

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99th Post...and a WONDERFUL Update!!

So, my life has been very CRAZY since Thursday...each day, since then, I have been at the hospital (except Friday because I had to work) visiting my friend's daughter, "S," who was in the accident that took her mom's life, and was sedated until last week...well, for now, there will not be any more hospital trips...why?...Because... "S," is home today!

Isn't that wonderful?!?!?!?!?!

On a side note, I want you all to know how truly WONDERFUL our community is...yesterday, on my way to the hospital, my friend's husband, "B," called me to ask me about a ramp...a wheel chair ramp for "S.".  Of course, I have no idea how to build a ramp, but I knew our friend, "J," just had one built for the other girl in the accident (who is her 1st cousin's daughter) and could point me in the right direction...so,  I called "J" around 1pm to see what she could do.  I gave her "B's" phone number and she said she would take care of it.

Well, what do you know...I called "B" after I left the hospital, around 7pm, and to see if any progress had been made on the ramp...well, "B" told me the ramp was FINISHED!!!   I even got to see a picture of it on Facebook when I got home...I cried when I saw it!  I couldn't help it...it was so good to see the love and compassion in our community.

I mean, how wonderful is that?!?!?!?!

I truly live in the best community...in the WORLD (sorry, ya'll, but if your jealous, then you better move here)!

I haven't said this enough, so I will say it again, God Gives, and God takes away...but He CERTAINLY gives!!!!!

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!!!

Oh, and this is officially my 99th post!  So, the next time you hear from me, I will be celebrating 100!!!!  Woo-hoo!  It's way better than turning 30, let me tell you!

Love,

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Back to the 'Rock Pile'...

Today was the first day I went back in to my office since before the accident.  The last time I drove home from DC was the last time I had seen Beth (when I picked Vic up from her from a booth sale in town).

Driving in was solemn...lone, long commutes often are when you have a lot on your mind.  I did chat for a while with one of my friends who was also very close to Beth, so that helped pass the time.

When I got to my building, I went straight to the restroom and washed my face and hands.  I took a deep breath before I walked out, knowing my first day back in the office would be hard  (you don't really have to worry about people confronting you about difficult issues when you work from home, but when you are face to face with people it is very different).

As soon as I got out of the bathroom, I saw our maintenance man, who I have known for 7 years...he is also a pastor.  He, as usual, asked me how me and 'the family' was...It is impossible to look at someone and say, 'we're fine' with everything going on (and, you know, lying to a pastor isn't something I could do).  I told him what happened, almost everything, and we prayed...in the middle of the hallway, on Good Friday.  I felt a lot better (God once again shows He will make sure I am not ever alone).

Anyhow, once I made my way in to our actual office, quite a few people asked how I was doing (I guess word spreads pretty fast in a small company like mine).  I had to respond so many times that it kind of got repetitive, although, I did get a variety of questions about different aspects of all that has happened.

I held it together pretty good, only shedding a few tears throughout the day....until I finally had time to sit in my boss's office....face to face with him.  And, then, I LOST it!!!  Big old baby tears...I felt so bad, but knew my boss is the kind of man who is compassionate enough to understand and handle it.  Then, our president walked in...she too began comforting me with thoughtful words and let me know I had been on her mind.

I guess, as hard as my first day was, I am glad I went to the office...I am glad I got to see people I have worked with for many years and it was good to feel life moving on.

Oh, and if you have made it this far, my kids and I got to spend a few hours with my best friend's daughter last night at the hospital.  It was so nice to see her and so nice to even see her smile a few times.  We are going to see her again tomorrow...word is that she may come home some time next week.

Well, time for B-d-d (as my Nana calls it...you know, to bed).  I am sooo tired.

Night!!!

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Where Have I Been?

Ok, this is a quick , very quick, post to say I am still here (if anyone is still out there).

I have been very busy in the last week getting caught back up on life in general...but I have also been very busy helping out our troop leader with some of the stuff Beth used to do for her (which, let me tell you,  was a LOT).

It feels so good to be able to help, but of course, it means having to give up some of my other favorite things.

For now, I feel called to help our troop and Beth's family in whatever way I can.  I will still check in and update about the kids and our life from time to time, but I definitely don't think daily posting is in my near future.

I hope to be able to check a few blogs and comment from time to time, too.  I know, it has been a while since I commented on or visited my favorite blogs, but I hope to start again soon.

Miss you guys,  but, I shall return...eventually!

Love,

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Getting to Know You - 3/28/10

So, last week was the first time I missed GTKY since I started playing along.


I truly love this meme...I love getting to know everyone else and I love to know that people are actually getting to know things about me.  However, with the loss of my best friend last week, it was impossible for me to play along.


Well, there is nothing better than having Ian ask our GTKY questions to get me back in the groove...so, a BIG thanks to Keely and Ian for bringing me back to Bloggy-Life!


Ok, so, if you want to play along, and I suggest that you do, head on over to Keely's blog to play along!

**********************************************

1 - Why did you start blogging?

To keep in touch with friends and family who live far, far away!!!!  Although, I don't think any of my family actually reads my blog anymore!  ;(

2 - Who's the one blog friend that you would want to meet most in "real life"?

Well, there are a few...since Ian is so close to me, I would say him, but I already have semi-plans to go meet my dear, dear friend Robin in Texas over the summer.  Then, there's SIF, who I really, really would love to meet...she is also a dear, dear friend.
3 - Why are you always concerned with losing that "extra 10 pounds" when chances are your husband/boyfriend/friends tell you that you look just fine the way you are?

I actually just lost 58 pounds and got off Blood Pressure monitoring!!  Woohoo!!!  So, I guess now I am losing it for my overall health.  Not to say, I don't want to feel more attractive like I did when I was 23!

4 - What's the one thing you wish guys could understand about you?

That I have gas, too!  ;)  (for some reason, men don't think women pass gas...I mean, we do have the same digestive tract, you know)

5 - Tattoos. How many do you have and how many are visible when you wear your "everyday" clothes?

I have two tattoos...one on my ankle and the other on my shoulder blade...you can see eithe rof them depending on what I am wearing...but, I can just as easily cover them up!  ;)  By the way, I drew one of my tattoos by myself...the bad thing is, I can't draw!  ;)
6 - What was the best year of your life and why?

Oh, Ian, you asked me this a few weeks ago and I said RIGHT NOW (yes, in caps if you recall)...although, I wish I could go back 8 days ago, to before my friend died, I would still say the time right now...I believe we are called to live in the moment, for this moment is the only one guaranteed to us.

7 - Name three things you would do if you were a man for one day.

Play professional football, be a racecar driver in NASCAR and scratch my bal....

8 - What's your alcoholic drink of choice that usually raises a few eyebrows?

A Virgin Pina Colada (no, I don't drink...ever...I have a horrible tolerance...or lack thereof)

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Happy Sunday Ya'll!!!!!!

Love,

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Every Moment...

First things first...My friend's daughter's surgery went "very well" according to her surgeons.  I am going to go up to see her once she is awake and her dad says I can go with him (he has to be with me to see her).  Praises are definitely in order....but, prayers are definitely still appreciated for both her continued physical and emotional healing.

I have also been by to see the other child, who is now home.  She is doing well, but in a lot of pain.  Please also be prayerful for her continued physical and emotional healing.  I took her some Reece's Pieces and Yoo-Hoo (at her request) and also a cute little handheld chick that chirps when you touch it.  Bless her little heart, she is such a brave girl.

As for me, I had my first attempt at grocery shopping since the accident.  I went to our local Food Lion in town...a place Beth and I frequented regularly...sometimes together intentionally and sometime by coincidence.  I was about half way through the store when it hit me, I won't ever 'run into her' at Food Lion again....of course, I felt myself starting to cry...I felt alone, totally alone in the middle of this grocery store filled with people.  Then, as I turned the corner, there stood my neighbor (who is like my adoptive grandma)...and I just ran up to her and wrapped my arms around her and started bawling.

In that moment, I was so sad, but so joyous.  I believe it was God's way of saying, "You may think you are alone, my child, but I am making sure you are never alone in this journey."  I was humbled...My neighbor just hugged me and started asking me about Beth' daughter.  I quickly composed myself to share the good news of her successful surgery.

Every moment is different..each second has it's highs, and lows.  However, it is impossible to ignore God's Hand through all of this...because, even through all this sadness, I have felt Him here with me every moment!

Love,



P.S. If you are interested, you can read about the vigil we held for Beth here...it is an inspirational read, and something I was so honored to do for both the girls in our troop and our entire community, but especially for Beth.

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My Writing is Horrible!!!

..as in my handwriting. 

I think mine is the worst.  I have always wanted to write like a 'girl.'  I always wanted to have that nice, bubbly, perfect-letters-every-time style of handwriting.  Instead, I have the handwriting skills of about a 7-year-old.

However, I got tagged to do something I find interesting over on my dear friend Robin's blog. The assignment was this:

The rules are simple. 
Answer the following questions but, write them down. Snap a pic and post it!

1. Name/ Blog Name

2. Right handed, left handed or both

3. Favorite letters to write

4. Least favorite letters to write

5. Write: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

6. Write in caps:

CRAB

HUMOR

KALEIDOSCOPE

PAJAMAS

GAZILLION

7. Favorite song lyrics

8. Tag people

9. Any special note or drawing

Here's Mine

So, after I did this, I also took a writing personality test...I have to say, despite the offense I may have taken when I read it, I agree with 'most' of it...here is what is said:

Your Handwriting Says You Are Somewhat Traditional

You are sometimes a very energetic person, but you are sometimes quite lethargic. You're moody, prone to ups and downs, and you don't have a lot of endurance. You are reserved and not very outgoing. You are deeply thoughtful and introspective. You have a lot of control over your actions and emotions. You are extravagant, over the top, and indulgent. You set trends and influence people. You don't need a lot of space, and you prefer to spend time with others. You are a little nosy and intrusive. You sometimes don't give people enough space. You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart. You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous. ***************************************************

Does this sound like me?  I mean, you know, other than the fact that I am not outgoing...I have always felt very outgoing.

Thanks again everyone for all your support, prayers and comments.  Today is going to be hard as we say good bye to a dear friend, but I am certain we will be just fine as I know she is up there watching over us sitting right next to the Bug Guy!!!!

Please still be prayerful for her daughter as she undergoes an 8 hour surgery today.

Love,

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Updates

Two people very special to me sent me this...I have never met them in person, but I feel like they are just as special as if we had know each other all our lives...Thank you friends!!!!  I love you guys and am so happy God put you in my life...I hope we get to create many wonderful memories together in the years ahead.

I heard this morning that the girl who was in the accident with my best friend and her daughter will get to come home today.  I am going to take them dinner tonight.  Praise God!!!

Beth's daughter will have an 8 hour surgery tomorrow, during her mom's funeral.  She is still sedated and hasn't been told yet of her mother's passing.  Please, please be prayerful for this sweet girl and her family.  They need all the prayers and love we can offer them.

Monday we had our vigil for Beth...I prepared the slideshow, made ribbons and even got to speak on our troops behalf about our beloved friend.  I don't know how I did it, it was so hard, but I know I did my best and I was so honored to be able to speak about my friend.

After the vigil, another mom and I were approached by two women from our Girl Scout Council BOD (Board of Directors).  Before Beth died, she had been working on a trip we were taking to the birth place of the GS founder, Juliette Lowe, in Savannah GA...well, we decided, as a troop, to honor Beth, we will still be going to Savannah...well, these two women said they want to help us get there...they are going to request funding from the Council for our trip...Isn't that amazing?  What a blessing!!!

Each day is getting better. Each moment is still different.  There are true blessings during this storm...true friends...true family...life is so truly precious!

My friend had this saying stenciled on her wall in her kitchen:  Live, Laugh, Love!!!!  I am going to choose to live by her motto.  I can't think of a better way to even further honor my friend.

There is much to be done for this family over the span of life, but I am thanking God that he chose me to be here for this amazing family.  I am thanking Him for trusting me with her love, her friendship and her family.  I will do my best to give back to them all the love she gave to me.  I am so grateful to have had someone like her as long as I did....I bet many people go a lifetime without having someone as special as her in their life.

So, Live, Laugh and Love...every day!!!

Love,

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The Day Ahead...

Today will be a busy day, I have been working on a slideshow for my dear friend's vigil tonight at our church.  

In place of our regular meeting, our troop will be hosting this vigil for our girls and our community tonight.

I feel so blessed right now to be working on this slideshow.  Everyone has been sending me pictures and I feel so honored to get to be doing this project.  

Thank you so much for your kind words and support.  I know I haven't been responding to comments, but I haven't really had it in me.  I have been reading everything and I really do appreciate it.

Life is too short sometimes, so please, live each moment to the fullest.  Tell those that you love and care for and appreciate that you feel that way.  Don't let things go unsaid or undone.  I know my friend knew how much I loved her, for that I am so grateful for.

Just a few pictures I found yesterday...from my baby shower.  Beth and my sister, mostly Beth, arranged my last baby shower...it was a football (REDSKINS) theme...she did everything in Burgundy and Gold...her husband even made me a football field to put my gifts on (complete with an end zone and field goal pole)...she was the best friend I could ever ask for...I was so happy on this day..so grateful...I will remember this time and all the other amazing times we shared.

Love,

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