Friday, April 2, 2010

Back to the 'Rock Pile'...

Today was the first day I went back in to my office since before the accident.  The last time I drove home from DC was the last time I had seen Beth (when I picked Vic up from her from a booth sale in town).

Driving in was solemn...lone, long commutes often are when you have a lot on your mind.  I did chat for a while with one of my friends who was also very close to Beth, so that helped pass the time.

When I got to my building, I went straight to the restroom and washed my face and hands.  I took a deep breath before I walked out, knowing my first day back in the office would be hard  (you don't really have to worry about people confronting you about difficult issues when you work from home, but when you are face to face with people it is very different).

As soon as I got out of the bathroom, I saw our maintenance man, who I have known for 7 years...he is also a pastor.  He, as usual, asked me how me and 'the family' was...It is impossible to look at someone and say, 'we're fine' with everything going on (and, you know, lying to a pastor isn't something I could do).  I told him what happened, almost everything, and we the middle of the hallway, on Good Friday.  I felt a lot better (God once again shows He will make sure I am not ever alone).

Anyhow, once I made my way in to our actual office, quite a few people asked how I was doing (I guess word spreads pretty fast in a small company like mine).  I had to respond so many times that it kind of got repetitive, although, I did get a variety of questions about different aspects of all that has happened.

I held it together pretty good, only shedding a few tears throughout the day....until I finally had time to sit in my boss's office....face to face with him.  And, then, I LOST it!!!  Big old baby tears...I felt so bad, but knew my boss is the kind of man who is compassionate enough to understand and handle it.  Then, our president walked in...she too began comforting me with thoughtful words and let me know I had been on her mind.

I guess, as hard as my first day was, I am glad I went to the office...I am glad I got to see people I have worked with for many years and it was good to feel life moving on.

Oh, and if you have made it this far, my kids and I got to spend a few hours with my best friend's daughter last night at the hospital.  It was so nice to see her and so nice to even see her smile a few times.  We are going to see her again tomorrow...word is that she may come home some time next week.

Well, time for B-d-d (as my Nana calls know, to bed).  I am sooo tired.


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