Sunday, May 23, 2010

I DID IT!!!

This post is about me...all about me...and, warning, it is LONG!!!!

Rarely do I write about myself, but I wanted to today because for once, I have faced a huge fear of mine head on...and I am really proud of myself.

As a child, at the age of seven, I was abruptly removed from my mothers home.  The situation I was removed from wasn't good.  There was abuse and neglect in our home, and my mother and my stepfather were alcoholics and I even expect my stepfather may have done other drugs as well.  After months of hell, my sister, who is almost eight years older than me, decided it was time to take action and began informing adults of our situation. She saved us from hell.

As hard as our living situation had been, being taken away from my mother was the hardest thing that had ever happened to me emotionally.  Despite the abuse and neglect, I loved her...I needed her....I yearned for her once I was away from her...even though I had my Nana, who I loved very much, it wasn't my mom.

My Nana and Pap worked very hard to get my physical condition back on track.  I was extremely underweight (about 45 pounds at 7 years old) and my teeth were rotting out of my mouth.  Within a month of being taken from my mom, I had 7 caps, 3 fillings and a spacer put in my mouth.   All of that work was done in a course of 4 weeks and it was so hard for me to go through...especially being that I was just taken from my mom.  Not to mention, on the last trip, my Pap's SUV broke down, and we were stranded on the side of the road for about 20 minutes!!!!

I have always associated the dentist with both emotional and physical pain.  I even wrote a short story about it in college that I got an A+ on...it has been a huge part of who I am and I have allowed my fear to prevent me from getting my wisdom teeth removed.

Well, this past Thursday, I conquered my fears...I had oral surgery to remove my wisdom teeth and I am so happy to say I am no longer letting the fear control me.  I am now in control of that fear.

To be honest, it wasn't bad at all...I was really impressed with how well it all went...and the dentist, his nurse, my dad and my sister, all told me how proud they were of me....of course, I had a Valium or two before the big event, which helped...but, in the end, I did it.  I did it!!!!!

...and I am so proud of myself!!!

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