I'm Getting Caught Up...

...sort of!

I mean, I am doing better today than I was this time last week.

We did have a great time at our Girl Scout's Father/Daughter Dance (yes, Bub and I went along to 'help' at the dance).  Really, it was a great evening.  I still need to weed through the gazillion pictures I took, but I hope to post some this week (you know, if time permits).

On another note, the baby woke up with a fever this morning (101.5 aux)...which is his first fever in about 8 months.  He used to get them all the time when he was a baby (when he cut a tooth, when he got shots, when he had a cold), but he has gone a while without one.  I think he has a small cold now, as he has a slight runny nose and has been sneezing.  It has broke for now, but I will be taking him in if it comes back again in the next 24 hours.

And, one last thing...I read this today in a daily prayer I get every morning (it was ironic, because the pastor who sends out these prayers actually mentioned not knowing why this particular quote had come to mind this morning...I could only think how he always seems to say things that touch me deeply at times when I need to hear them the most, and I thought, "perhaps he is writing them just for me"...and I am glad I get a daily dose of prayer in the morning)...here it is:

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Source Unknown

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I just...Can't do it!!!!

So, I wanted to do a nice post for my 100th post.  Something reflecting the many memories and treasures I have gathered over the years.  I wanted to showcase some of my most valued possessions...not for their monetary values (because, let's face it, I am the farthest from materialistic as one can come), but because of the sentiment values associated with them.  One day, I hope to be able to do this...maybe for my 200th post, but right now, I just can't do it.

I don't have time...I don't have energy...I don't have the mindset to do it right now.  My work inbox is overflowing (and, if you know me, that is not the norm), my accounting work is about a month behind schedule (because I wasn't yet caught back up from missing work from my Dad's heart attacks/hospitalizations and winter blizzards before the tragedy with Beth hit)...I am behind on paying bills, not because I don't have the money to pay them, but because I can't find the paper with all my password for online bill payment written on it)...I am behind on PTA duties (I told the PTA president I loved her the other day because she had cancelled out monthly meeting, which I thought I was going to once again be forced to miss)...I just scheduled an appointment to speak to a counselor (I am not quite sure how to put this, but I am just not sure what to say or do anymore when it comes to my dear friend's family...am I saying the right thing, am I not saying the right thing...am I being to overbearing?...am I not there enough?)...It is just so much to process right now.  All of it!

Anyhow, If you have read this far, I am sure you are now as confused and tired as I am.  Which is why I haven't been writing too much recently (I figured I would spare you the agony or reading my innermost thoughts)...I think this is all finally catching up with me.

Well, back to the grind.  I did get our bed made today, for probably the first time in a week.

I will coin a term from one of my most favorite movies, "Baby steps, Sam, baby steps."

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99th Post...and a WONDERFUL Update!!

So, my life has been very CRAZY since Thursday...each day, since then, I have been at the hospital (except Friday because I had to work) visiting my friend's daughter, "S," who was in the accident that took her mom's life, and was sedated until last week...well, for now, there will not be any more hospital trips...why?...Because... "S," is home today!

Isn't that wonderful?!?!?!?!?!

On a side note, I want you all to know how truly WONDERFUL our community is...yesterday, on my way to the hospital, my friend's husband, "B," called me to ask me about a ramp...a wheel chair ramp for "S.".  Of course, I have no idea how to build a ramp, but I knew our friend, "J," just had one built for the other girl in the accident (who is her 1st cousin's daughter) and could point me in the right direction...so,  I called "J" around 1pm to see what she could do.  I gave her "B's" phone number and she said she would take care of it.

Well, what do you know...I called "B" after I left the hospital, around 7pm, and to see if any progress had been made on the ramp...well, "B" told me the ramp was FINISHED!!!   I even got to see a picture of it on Facebook when I got home...I cried when I saw it!  I couldn't help it...it was so good to see the love and compassion in our community.

I mean, how wonderful is that?!?!?!?!

I truly live in the best community...in the WORLD (sorry, ya'll, but if your jealous, then you better move here)!

I haven't said this enough, so I will say it again, God Gives, and God takes away...but He CERTAINLY gives!!!!!

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!!!

Oh, and this is officially my 99th post!  So, the next time you hear from me, I will be celebrating 100!!!!  Woo-hoo!  It's way better than turning 30, let me tell you!

Love,

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Back to the 'Rock Pile'...

Today was the first day I went back in to my office since before the accident.  The last time I drove home from DC was the last time I had seen Beth (when I picked Vic up from her from a booth sale in town).

Driving in was solemn...lone, long commutes often are when you have a lot on your mind.  I did chat for a while with one of my friends who was also very close to Beth, so that helped pass the time.

When I got to my building, I went straight to the restroom and washed my face and hands.  I took a deep breath before I walked out, knowing my first day back in the office would be hard  (you don't really have to worry about people confronting you about difficult issues when you work from home, but when you are face to face with people it is very different).

As soon as I got out of the bathroom, I saw our maintenance man, who I have known for 7 years...he is also a pastor.  He, as usual, asked me how me and 'the family' was...It is impossible to look at someone and say, 'we're fine' with everything going on (and, you know, lying to a pastor isn't something I could do).  I told him what happened, almost everything, and we prayed...in the middle of the hallway, on Good Friday.  I felt a lot better (God once again shows He will make sure I am not ever alone).

Anyhow, once I made my way in to our actual office, quite a few people asked how I was doing (I guess word spreads pretty fast in a small company like mine).  I had to respond so many times that it kind of got repetitive, although, I did get a variety of questions about different aspects of all that has happened.

I held it together pretty good, only shedding a few tears throughout the day....until I finally had time to sit in my boss's office....face to face with him.  And, then, I LOST it!!!  Big old baby tears...I felt so bad, but knew my boss is the kind of man who is compassionate enough to understand and handle it.  Then, our president walked in...she too began comforting me with thoughtful words and let me know I had been on her mind.

I guess, as hard as my first day was, I am glad I went to the office...I am glad I got to see people I have worked with for many years and it was good to feel life moving on.

Oh, and if you have made it this far, my kids and I got to spend a few hours with my best friend's daughter last night at the hospital.  It was so nice to see her and so nice to even see her smile a few times.  We are going to see her again tomorrow...word is that she may come home some time next week.

Well, time for B-d-d (as my Nana calls it...you know, to bed).  I am sooo tired.

Night!!!

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