Sometimes...

...life leads you into a routine, a pattern that consumes each and every day of your life.  That is what has happened to me over the last few years.

I have settled for being a 'loving' mother and a 'kick ass' employee.  I haven't worked on myself in years.  I've gained weight, I haven't really progressed in my professional life (yes, I make good money and yes, I love what I do...and, yes, I am good at it...and, yes, I work from home...but I'm still in the same position I was three years ago and working for the same company I worked for almost 10 years ago), I haven't really became a better mother (I've just 'maintained' being the same mother that I have been for 13 years).

Well, for the few of you who may actually read this, thank you for being here...you, my friend, are going to witness a change in me.  Physically, mentally, emotionally.

This last year has been hard...my husband lost his job...and it took him over 6 months to find another one.  *Fortunately, he has one now*  Because of this job loss, I came to the realization that as a woman, a mother, a daughter...it is my responsibility to make sure I can be the best I can be so that I can truly be an independent woman and not have to depend on anyone else.

To do that, I have to get myself right...physically, mentally, emotionally.

Here is what is on the agenda for the next year:

• Physical Improvements - I am overweight...ok, I'm technically obese (what an ugly word!). I weighted 260 at the doctor's last week...and 256.6 on Sunday morning...today, I'm down to 253 (if you're counting, that's 7 pounds so far).  My goal is to get to 170 in 12 months; 90 pounds.  That's almost a whole person...well, a small person.  But, I have one thing on my side...motivation.  I am MOTIVATED for the first time in years..and, it feels awesome!

• Mental Improvements - To make advancements towards becoming a truly independent woman, I have decide to go back to school and work on completing the last semester of my Bachelor's and to also get enough credits to sit for my CPA.    Not only will this make me 'smarter,' it will also permit me to advance even further than I have in my professional life.

• Emotionally - Although I likely have the least improvements to make in this category, I still have lots of work to do.  For instance, I obviously have a bad relationship with food (yes, you can have relationships with things that aren't really alive..and, things that don't even have emotions to reciprocate back to you).   I do fine when I'm dieting..or, not dieting...but, what I need to work on is eating healthy once my weight loss journey is over.  I need to learn how to re-incorporate the things that I have abused in the past (pizza, bread, cheeseburgers, bread, bread, bread), without abusing them in the future.

So, here we are.  Here I am.  Ready...motivated...willing to share my weaknesses and desire for change with the world.

I am flawed, as we all are, but I'm ready again to be a real work in progress.  I know I can do this!